Trusting through the pain

  I look into the bathroom drawer and her make up still sat there even though she has been gone, almost ten months.  Standing up, gazing into the mirror, I was taken back.  In my minds eye, I could see her there, dusting her face with powder, putting on her lipstick and blotting it by kissing a tissue.  She would finish off by combing her hair and spraying her perfume, a lot of perfume :0).  I always enjoyed watching her get ready.  I was brought back by the tear streaming down my cheek.  I stood there, dark eyes staring back at me,  gazing at the dark curls and olive skin, like hers.  It is all the little things that I think of from my childhood.  Her sitting in the kitchen having a cup of coffee, folding the laundry in the evening, reading a book.  There was always a book, a page dog eared, sitting somewhere in the house.  Working in the yard.  Mom loved to be outside, whether she was tending her flower beds or going on her four mile walks.  I never knew it, till one day towards the end, she loved to watch the clouds.  She was asking for her window shades to be opened so she could look out  at the clouds.  I think that there were a lot of things that I didn't know about my mom, that now I'll never have the chance to.  It's ok though, somewhat painful, but God carry's us through the pain, He doesn't make us exempt from it just because we are His.   I have to trust in Him and His sovereignty.  This is a hard journey and some days it seems as though it will never end, but I know there is One that sticks closer than a brother and I am so grateful for that.


TTFN,
Margaret

Beading for friends

A friend asked me to come up with some earring designs that had her school mascot or,since the school name is Paris, an Eiffel tower charm.  The school colors are royal blue and black, so naturally I went with those color beads. Here is a picture of what was done. 

I also made another friend a birthday gift.  I really like the metal circle in the piece and have to come up with some other designs with that.

That's all for now !

Margaret

Lesson learned

Wow.  I had been having a rough time.  I was grieving the loss of my mother and was trying to deal with tween and teenage kids, homeschooling, being a wife, getting everything done for everyone else.  I had a meltdown and was basically transparent with a couple of people.    Now, I feel as though they look at me differently and not in a good light since that time.  Things seem superficial and it hurts a bit.  I think to myself,  I shouldn't have said the things I was feeling,  I never should have told them how overwhelmed I was with my kids, since they always seem to have it together.  As believers in Christ we are to bear on another's burdens and come along side others in love.   That is why I thought it would be okay to open up.  I do not do it very often for this exact reason !   Lesson learned.

Blessings,
Margaret

Open my eyes

  I feel blinded lately and  highly dislike it.  I talk to friends and they speak about all they see the Lord doing in their lives and I sit back and think to myself, what is God doing in my life.  I feel as though there is always something that has to be done, somewhere we have to go  and I don't take the time to sit back and soak in what God is doing. 
  The Almighty, Creator of this earth cares for me, measly little me.  That in and of itself is overwhelming.  He is at work everyday and I blindly fumble along.   It is a bumpy journey in the Stephens household, but it's all good.  I just love the Lord and want to be more attuned to what He is doing to rightly praise Him and thank Him continually. 

TTFN
Margaret

Decisions

  Wow, I dislike making big decisions.  I have a couple of decisions to make right now that I have been praying about and not really getting an answer, especially on the bigger of the two.  There are days that I wish that the Lord would just lay out the HUGE neon sign that says, DO THIS, or DON'T DO THIS.   (That would be so much easier. ) I have problems deciphering what the Spirit may be laying on my heart at times. Occasionally I think, "oh that was me not the Lord", anyone else feel like that?
  Well, I will continue to pray because I know that the Lord knows best, certainly not me, and I will trust what He has for me and when it looks like it is way too much, I know that He and He alone will be my strength.

TTFN,
Margaret

Spring time

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.

April showers bring May flowers.


Spring has sprung.

You can't see Canada across lake Erie, but you know it's there.  It's the same with spring.  You have to have faith, especially in Cleveland.  ~Paul Fleischman




  Next to autumn, spring is my favorite time of year.   Everything is waking and God's hand is visible among it all.  From the crocus peeking through a thin layer of spring snow, to hearing the birds start to chirp their early morning song.  It is an amazing time of the year.  

  I was helping a friend move yesterday and stopped in front of the neighbors house to look at the flowers she had just planted.  I commented on how lovely her flowers were and her reply was, "What would the world be without flowers and music?"   I couldn't have said it better.
  Next time you walk by the blooms in your yard think about our God, His creativity, His glory and His sovereignty.  He has given us these things to enjoy and we are so blessed by the bright colors of a pansy or the fragrant smell of a blooming rose.  Our God is good in all things.

 

Till next time !

TTFN,
Margaret

It's been awhile !

Well, I haven't been here for awhile and thought I would add a post.  In April, Confluence had a concert and it, again, was great to be a part of.  We sang In Honor of Martin which was a tribute to Dr, Martin Luther King.  It was amazing to me how the composer, David Hurd, used music to set the tone of what happened in those turbulent times.  We also had several solos, duets, quartets that were amazing.  Ellie sang a song that was basically Anne Bolins final words.  The way she brought those words across, I was just in awe.  Music can be so powerful and thought provoking, it can provide joy,  as well as sadden us.  Love it !!  
  I also have done a couple of things jewelry wise.  One I especially like, I did for a friend of mine.  Simple but nice.  I haven't felt so creative lately but hopefully that will change soon.
  Today is Mother's day.  It has been a bit difficult this year since losing my Mama.  I would be ok one moment, then I would start crying to my hubby.  Apologizing to him through the tears.  Yet he is very understanding,  reassuring me that it is ok and that "she was your mom and you miss her". 
  The Lord has been good to me, He is consistent when I am not and I am grateful knowing that he is sovereign over all.  He has a plan for me, even though lately I feel like I am just floundering along this road called life. 

TTFN,
Margret